Why do I automatically compare myself to peers when it hurts

I have long been used to comparing to my schoolmates in terms of many aspects, from the score of last math test to how physical appearance. The feeling of being superb is enjoyable, while the feeling of being inferior is unendurable. I think this is familiar for everybody. We can never control ourselves from comparing with others, especially peers and people near us.


Why Compare

But why do we do it? Considering the how comparison tortures us when we feel inferior, and how it leads to bad results when people keep up with the Joneses, I doubt the meaning of comparing with each other. However, I understand that every trait of humans descends from ancient time with us for a reason. In other words, if human beings are keen on comparing, it always means that such behavior has its reason for existing.

The comic strip named Keeping up with Joneses 

Biologically, the reason is obvious, since comparison reminds you of what you need to survive in the nature when you see that your friends who know more about hunting lead a better life. This pushes you to improve hunting skill so that you can catch up. When you are extraordinary, comparison makes you happier and more motivated to spend even more time on hunting. This is just a extempore theory pops in my mind, but it partly explain the benefit of comparison.

But now we live in 21st century, our brain fails catch up the rapid change of environment, and we sometimes do something for a reason that no longer exist in our society. I do not need to know about music to survive in the society, but I still automatically compare myself with my friends who are good at playing piano and guitar.


What Should We Do

Knowing the why comparison happens does solve the problem, i need to know how to deal with it when it happens, since i am not likely to stop it. According to "Should You Compare Yourself to Others?", we need to understand the benefit of comparison to utilize it properly. The articles suggests "a healthy comparison is looking at great work and analyzing its parts". You learn from comparison and therefore find out the potential of human beings. That is why sometimes comparison will be inspiring. Knowing how Einstein proposed his famous theory in his 20s when he was just nobody in a small patent office can make people who dream of making a new discovery in science.

Nonetheless, there are still a lot to learn more about the mechanism of comparison. It is a double-edged sword, and whether you can benefit from it depends on how you use it.

Good luck, have fun.